I have yet to find a woman who does not have some sort of self-esteem issue as it pertains to her looks - whether it’s the shape of her body, a permanent scar or blemish, a body part that she just wishes was different - it seems that every single one of us females has a beef with something about ourselves. To the degree that it has an impact on our overall happiness in life. I’m not saying we’re curled up in the corner crying about it, but it’s something that creates maybe even the slightest bit of insecurity in us.
I’m no different than any of you and I have these same issues. In high school, some boys in my 10th grade Spanish class made fun of my nose and I’ve had a slight complex about it ever since. I know full well how nasty kids can be yet nearly 25 years later, I can still remember the words and how they hurt me and exactly how it made me feel inside when they were said to me. This probably resonates on some level with most of you. We have an event from our past, something someone said or did, that still haunts us, even though we know it doesn’t really mean anything. It still taps into that insecure part of us.
These kinds of experiences carry over to how we perceive our bodies. There are only so many things we can change about our appearance short of plastic surgery. We are who we are. We are all unique and special and we are designed to be so. Yet our entire lives our society has projected on us what is “ideal” or “perfect”. We look to images that are not normal, are almost always photoshopped and manipulated somehow from the actual image and we compare ourselves to those. And most of us are a far cry from the “ideal” and so breeds our insecurity, a drop in our self worth and our overall self confidence.
The images are not going anywhere. And whatever was said or done to you in the past that shaped the way you see yourself isn’t going to go away…you just have to stop carrying it around with. Society doesn’t show signs of warmly accepting women of all shapes and sizes anytime soon. With social media playing such a big role in our society today, there’s really not a way for us to get away from it. So what’s a girl to do?
First of all, I would propose we start treating our “sisters” as such. We are not each other’s enemy. We are all on the same team. We’re in this together. I can tell you for sure: when another woman provides me a genuine compliment, it means far more to me than coming from a man (well, unless it’s my man). We are so busy comparing ourselves to other women, often “hating on” them, that we don’t take the time to see what’s beautiful in them. We see in them what we perceive as wrong in ourselves. Give another woman a genuine compliment. If you’re in Starbucks and see a woman with a cute top - TELL HER!!! I promise you, this will take nothing away from your own awesomeness and will actually enhance your beauty. Trust me on this one.
We need to start building each other UP instead of tearing each other down. I truly believe that a lot of our insecurities as women are bread by our own gender. It’s not the men - they really like pretty much anything. It’s our own selves being competitive and critical of one another. You don’t need the woman next to you to feel smaller so you feel better. Make her feel bigger, make her feel more and I guarantee, you too, will feel more.
A flower doesn’t compare itself to the flower next to it, it just blooms.
So go on…BLOOM!
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